These pictures were taken in July, just inside Yosemite National Park. We were on our way home. It was the last leg of that long road trip when Alice developed a sudden and consuming fear of public toilets that no amount of coaxing or hopeful stops at higher-end restaurants could shake. (Because, as it turned out, it was not cleanliness – or lack of – that troubled her; it was worry that the flush would be “too loud.”). We ended up pulling into a Walmart where I bought the cheapest training potty on the shelves, and we all accepted the absurdity of the arrangement as though it were perfectly normal. Because that is what you do.
It is a weird thing to remember, but I think I will always remember it.
Anyway, we took these pictures in July. Just inside Yosemite National Park. Only a few hours after finding out that another baby was coming. This is a family of three that had just become a family of four.
She will be here in less than a week.
I was 2-years-old when Anthony was born, and I cannot imagine a world without him.
I was 8-years-old – almost 9 – when Mark was born, and although I have memory of being 5 and 6 and 7, still I cannot imagine a world without him.
It has always been as though they were always there. They were the first people I loved with a sense of protection and an understanding that we would be in it together. Come what may. (Which is much bigger than it sounds).
It’s hard to imagine now, but soon, it will be as though this new child was always with us. The idea of a world without her in it will not make sense.
And Alice will not remember the time when it was just the three of us.
But I want her to know that time was precious.